Welcome to The Survive & Thrive Support for Summer Newsletter.
When you are parenting a child with additional needs, neurodivergence, or mental health challenges, predictability may be a luxury you rarely get. Instead, perhaps you live in a constant state of flux, always on high alert, waiting for the next issue or problem.
We want to share a simple, practical tool we use in our coaching to help you check in on your nervous system: The Uncertainty Score.
Think about your day ahead. On a scale of 0 to 10, how much unpredictability are you facing today?
-
0 means everything is completely predictable, calm, and under control.
-
10 means you have absolutely no idea what is coming next, routines are entirely out the window, and you are flying by the seat of your pants!
When we are stuck in a time of high-uncertainty, our nervous systems naturally go into a state of threat. The trouble is, our minds do not like feeling tense without a tangible reason. So, to make sense of that internal tension, our brains can quickly invent a story to explain it.
Here's an example: Instead of realising, "My nervous system is simply overwhelmed by how unpredictable today is," we may buy into false narratives. We start thinking, "My partner is deliberately trying to push my buttons," or "I am an awful parent who just can't handle anything." We start blaming ourselves or the people around us for our internal state, when really, it is just our body reacting to a lack of safety and predictability.
We all do these things, it's very often a natural consequence of the rapidly changing worlds we are living in.
When you can start by simply naming your uncertainty score in the morning - you will find that it won't change what happens next, but (with practice!) it can completely change how you treat yourself.
It may stop you from getting deep into those false stories.
If you know you are walking into an "8 out of 10" uncertainty day, you can expect to feel more challenged—and you can try to show yourself some immense grace when you do.
This Week’s Journal Prompts 📝
-
What is my uncertainty score right now?
-
Give your day a number from 0 to 10 based on how unpredictable it feels. Just recognising that number out loud can instantly take the pressure off.
-
-
What story is my brain trying to tell me?
-
If you are feeling highly stressed, guilty, or frustrated with someone in your house today, pause and ask: Is this situation actually the problem, or is my nervous system just reacting to a high uncertainty score?
-
-
How can I accommodate a "High-Score" day?
-
If you wake up and realise it is a level 8 or 9 uncertainty day, what is one thing you can completely take off your plate? How can you lower your expectations of yourself for the next 24 hours?
-
Before you look at your to-do list today, check in on your number. Knowing it is the first step to staying anchored.
Connect with us this week:
- Join the discussion: Head over to our private Facebook group [here] to share your reflections. Come tell us how you're practicing holding your emotional boundaries this week.
- Looking for deeper support? Remember that you can also book a private 1-to-1 coaching session with us [here] to focus entirely on your own wellbeing, confidence, and needs.
Take care of yourself this week,
Katie & Kate
Co-Founders, The Survive and Thrive Collective
